Forest just leave me Cald

I'm feeling pretty rough at the moment, so I certainly don't need Forest to make me feel even more rotten. I'm suffering from the worst cold ever, and there's constant talk of financial Armageddon on the news. At least my cold will go in a few days, but I'd gladly keep it a bit longer if it meant Colin Calderwood was handed his P45 on Monday morning.

I didn't expect us to get anything from QPR, and we're still five points from safety, so in one sense things haven't got any worse, but despite playing well (ish), we still lost, and that is becoming a pattern for all of our away games. We should have got something at Sheffield Wednesday, should have got something at Plymouth, should have done this, should have done that, etc., etc. That is the language used by relegation candidates. I think the players (and some fans) are deluded. On the phone-in after the match yesterday evening, one person had us all laughing when he thought that Forest had blown their chances of promotion!! He thinks we 'may' be in a relegation battle. No really? I hadn't noticed. Only, I wouldn't even use the word 'battle' with Forest. A battle is supposed to be competitive, and Forest don't seem to be putting up much resistance at all. They are doing a very good impression of Derby in the Premiership last year. The only difference is Derby actually had the excuse of being beaten by top quality sides bankrolled by multi-millionaires and billionaires. We've lost all six of our away games, and we will be visiting Pride Park in a fortnight. Derby have got their act together now and are moving in the right direction up the table. Who is laughing at them, now? We've had our three months of gloating. It's business as usual now.

Before the Derby game, we have back-to-back home games against Ipswich and Cardiff and a tricky looking away game at Crystal Palace next Tuesday night. Both of the games at home are winnable, but confidence is so low that we'll probably end up with one or two points from them, knowing Forest as I do. I have a season ticket, but I don't feel like going any more. It all feels rather hopeless and the spark has gone. It's alright if you can just hop on a bus and be there in five or ten minutes, but I have to give up my whole Saturday to travel to Nottingham, and spend nearly £20 on a train ticket. It really wears me down, and I am getting zero enjoyment out of it. It hurts to contemplate not going any more, but I'm seriously considering it. It has nothing to do with protesting – it just makes me too sad. I've got other hobbies now which give me a lot of pleasure, so my life doesn't completely revolve around Forest any more. They can be a sideline (albeit a really irritating one) and not be the focal point of my whole existence. Yes, that's the way it's got to be from now on.